BM or FM?

"Will you breastfeed or formula? Which formula brand you will use?" This is a common question nearing due date.

My reply: "Breastfeed IF I have milk". Formula will be using Enfalac A+.

My thought at that time: Not everyone have milk. And cousins using Enfalac A+ which they reviewed good. And people around me that gave birth not too long (that I know of) stop breastfeeding after 1 month. Either supply stopped or by choice due to work.

Honestly, during pregnancy I read on weekly pregnancy, surveyed on strollers, car seat, except for breastfeeding materials. Reason: Breastfeeding "should" be a natural thing. As near due, TBAN posting appeared on my FB and saw many mommies pressured with no milk and unhappy. If no milk, give formula. Why pressure? Since having baby is a happy thing - My thought.

Bought Pureen pump via recommendation too, no survey done. As long as it is electrical pump. Hb went to buy when I was 4 months pregnant and still very weak.

So delivered and no sign of milk during my 2 nights stay in hosp. Just enjoying BB by my side. Tried to latch but BB reject, mouth small the nurse said. LC asked to buy nippleshield, but it did not work as well. No pressure, just let hospital feed BB.

Back home, hb went to buy formula. 5th day, engorgement came. Tried pump but only few drops. (Honestly, I was still happy with that few drops because at least have something.

Took pic and sent to hb when successfully pumped few drops, he asked me "What is that?". Too little till not obvious it was colostrum. Then I hand expressed. One hour each side and got maybe 10-15ml? It was pathetically low. Tiring because each time I would hand express (less pain) 1 hour each side and the Pureen pump did not suit me, so put it aside.

Changed pump to Medela Mini Electric. At first try, it works but and the time used cut to half and hour each side. To save time I would pump when eating or pump one side and hand express the other. Sometimes just hand express as still adjusting to the pain. Maybe out of 5-6 times pumping per day, 3 times I hand expressed.

                                              Pigeon (hand expressed), Medela (pumped)

Then when I started to mix BM to FM, I recorded BB's intake. Then slowly become more ambitious (like kiasu attitude), each yield want to have enough for lo per feed (60-75ml). Tiring but still yield till have the amount I aimed (but must be practical - lah). From one feed to few feeds I cut down FM. Feeling great. Then I know the reason why some mommies are so pressured to provide BM. Because that "someday" I would like my BB to be having bm fully too. So I managed to fully BM one day, I gave myself a "star" on my record book. Collecting for few days and one day I almost fully BM but have to mix FM for 1 feed, that's when I felt the pressure because I failed to get the "star" just because of one feed FM.

But I continued to keep my objective in mind, and succeeded. I get a daily "stars" till now.

Still not sure how long I can continue the journey, but would like to continue as long as I can supply. So decided to get my own double pump (easier when working and save time). This time I read a lot reviews on Freestyle and started to understand why Medela is preferred choice despite the high price. Fell in love with the double pump Freestyle. And since I'm ok with the Mini, FS should be suitable.

Just before fullmoon, hb bought the Freestyle from Sg. I thought will become EP mum since lo reject latching until 3rd week and non consistent although daily I will try to offer him, but he will cry out LOUD. But after fullmoon he started to latch and I DL for midnight feedings.

After 5 weeks, he is FULLY BREASTFEED. The FM that we bought as "spare" was donated away thru TBAN. Now at 3mo+, he prefers to DL.